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Hello friends... Chances are you've stumbled across this blog because you googled me or found this link. This blog will no longer be updated.

you can now visit me at craftandkillustration.blogspot.com or kaylacassivi.com

See you there!

Mmmm.. summer.

Howdy! I've been draining out all I've got to say lately into my new oversized Moleskine, so I apologize for not having several paragraphs of chatter.. you're welcome! I'm still posting on kdotcalm.wordpress.com on an almost daily basis.. over a month straight now! Anyway, here's a little thing I did in that new book...

Very Overdue Update.

I'm in the state of creating habits right now. I've been consistent with several things in my life for the last 2 months and I want to sneak this in while I'm at it. In the meantime I have created another blog over at wordpress... kdotcalm.wordpress.com which is going to be an almost daily posting.. I started a new book for daily doodling and thoughts, and basically just getting a pen in my hand everyday. I am going to make an attempt to update this one a few times a month.. once school is out, probably much more often than that.

Anyway, here are the things...

simplify and adjust

It's that funny time of year. The holidays throw off everyone's routine in the best way possible.. back to WORK work tomorrow. No more one shift weeks - which is probably a good thing, between tuition and christmas.. the bank's a lil' hungered.

I like being thrown off routine, though. It gives me the opportunity to start something completely new. I am quite fortunate to have a part-time job that is both willing to accommodate my funky school schedule AND give me consistent hours every week. It helps so much to ground the inconsistent individual I am.

Today I've been sorting through old clothes, and actually getting rid of things. Now that I'm officially living in the year that I plan to make a big move, I'm trying to get over my attachment issues before they become too much of an issue.

It started last summer though, 6 weeks living out of a little silver box, I realized just how little I could actually live on. And I don't think I even wore every shirt I brought.

On a completely different note, because that's how I do it, I was talking to an old friend yesterday. They mentioned that if this year goes the way the first four days had, it's going to be a pretty incredible year. I gotta say I'm feeling that way too. I feel so positive about everything right now. Life is GOOD. Ha.

Anyway, I did some hand-made-things-making this year.. the most recent of which is this little card for Danny. It's his birthday today, so it's only appropriate to post.. well, today.

renovations are on the way

No image today. This whole holiday season thing always brings about the desire to be something bigger and better. I am finally making the leap and going professional. I might be talking a little less and posting a little more. I am in the process of doing an overhaul of the design of this blog and putting some serious thought into a website.. WHOA! Now I need to do some learning, as I am a stubborn DIY kind of gal. New posts VERY soon.

everyday matters

It's the title of another Danny Gregory book. It means alot to me and I haven't even read the book yet, but the simple combination of words is so true. Lately I have been trying to at least find something significantly different about each of my days versus all of the others I have lived. Not just different, but important to the person that I wish to be, and actually find myself becoming a little more everyday. Last night, my littlest sister and I had a movie night. I put Arnica Gel on her calf that was sore from swimming (that silly little cow, she can't keep it out of water). I had a single drink because I felt like it, and no one joined me but that was ok with me. And then, late at night I fell into a chat about why I journal and how important it is to me... and, I guess, what I hope to do for someone in the future.

I started writing journals before I hit double digits. Back then they were called 'diaries'. I think I may have actually written to the Dear Diary on more than one occasion. But I always hated the term, and I didn't like to share that I kept one, I only ever wrote a few things that I wished no one else to ever read. Those I found years later under lock and key.. I think one of them was mentioning that I saw Jonathan Taylor Thomas in a dream.

Yeah, I was a shy kid. To this day I still turn bright red if you strike the right chord.

Anyway, for some reason I had the insight back then to write down things that no one else would really care about. But they mattered to me. Throughout the years of sporatic cleaning bursts, finding these random journals that have 5 pages at the front full of words and then the rest blank (I have a terrible habit of that) stop me in my tracks, and a 30 minute job lasts for hours.

One entry is still burned into my brain. It's the only one that I remember being accompanied by a drawing. I'm not sure whether I never forgot that day, or I just came across that book so many times that I had a constant reminder, but there's something profound about writing mundane things about daily activities. I was 9 years old. Late 1994, Grade 5. Vern Ames Public School, and that day in class we did gymnastics. I can't remember why I thought it was the most important thing to write down that day, maybe it was because I always had a secret desire to be a dancer, specifically to do ballet, and gymnastics was closer than I had ever been. I had friends that were able to do some really cool stuff with dance and gymnastics. Maybe I was inspired back then, as I still am today, with what you can potentially do with your body. Strength and flexibility have always fascinated me, both with what you can visually see, and what it means as far as levels of health. Whatever the reason. I remember that day, I remember being in that class and the door in the far corner was open. And then I begin to remember other parts about that gymnasium. I always loved the days we used the sit down scooters, and I never learned to like basketball. I catch myself thinking, and then I realize why I should keep writing.

I don't know the exact number, I'm not a scientist, and I don't plan on becoming one. But, I know I have heard on several occasions from several sources, that you retain and remember at least twice of what you see, hear, do, experience in general when you write down even a single sentence that your mind attaches the memory to. Maybe it's because you force yourself to really think about the experience? I'm not into reasons, I'm into results.

I know that because of two little books, one I bought in a Paper store on Yonge Street in Toronto while I was early for an interview for a job I was offered and never took. To me, that was the coolest looking sketchbook I had ever seen. So I bought it and didn't touch it until the end of April when I was sitting in the Amsterdam airport's lounge area on a stopover between Toronto and Rome. That book is still filled to about half way. While living in Florence in May, I went and bought the second book of that journey. A small art supply store around the corner from my apartment sold Moleskines. I had just embarked on my first Moleskine ever back at home before I left and I fell in love with the paper quality, the size, the shape, ease of portability, and the deceptively simple black cover that tells nothing about the contents.

Now I don't have any more blank pages. I'm on my third Moleskine since I've returned from Italy. I waited until December 1st for this one, and I have to say I was slacking a little this week, but I plan to have this baby filled by the end of this month, getting myself prepped for a book a month in the coming year. That's going to be one of my 2009 goals.

I love to draw, and I am finally stuck on making it my life, but I find my sketchbooks have begun to come to life ever since I let my words creep onto my drawings, on walls, behind faces, becoming the dominant design, giving new meaning to the entire image. Sometimes people think they can decipher my intentions. Sometimes it really looks that way, but anyone who has ever been confused by their own language knows that there are words and terms we may not fully understand, and because we learn by experience and observation, each person has their own little dictionary inside.

Back to what I was on about, all the little things we do, even 50 years ago, would have been so different then. The world is changing so quickly, I want even just one future generation to be able to look and see the differences, but more importantly see the similarities. Right now, I'm just a twenty something trying to get my things together and get my life sorted out. The older I get and the more I learn, the more I realize I don't know a hell of a lot.

All this was pushed out of me because I forgot to turn off my alarm clock this morning. When I finally became conscious and started listening to the radio.. "The count for Canadians killed in Afghanistan is up to 100 as of yesterday."

That's signficant.

And for me, it was worth writing down.

Something to get excited about..

Since my last visit here, I've gone all the way to the other side of The Rockies, and came back. While in BC, a cousin got married, I drank more vodka than I have since high school, and I created some memories with my family that I am sure to treasure for a long time to come. The chats with my aunt and uncle are easily in the top 5 of that week.

School is getting more and more exciting for me. Taking the extra time to complete my degree is one of the best things that could have happened for me. I don't know if I would have ever been able to get so much out school if I never went to Italy. It seems like everything means so much more once you start really observing the world and stop obsessing over photo-realism. I have so much more fun now, and I love the end product.



My friends over at conceptart.org have been saying that there's so much emotion in my work now; something that was definitely missing even as little as a year ago. Everything works out in the end.

Today I was reminded, as my work has their little Christmas countdown going, that it's just around the bend. We're at about a month away, and it's time to cut myself off from things. Sadly, or happily, as Santa might drop it off.. I wandered over to James Jean's site the other day for some inspiration and to check out what the genius was up to, and discovered this little gem. Butterflies, I tell you! Butterflies! And not the kind gluten's been giving me.. bleh..

Enjoy!!